Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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