That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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