he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
