i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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