my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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