You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
