They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
