how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
