you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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