hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
