Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
