soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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