Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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