it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
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