this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Mom said you looked used
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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