I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
