I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
