its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
