Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
