so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
