Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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