Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
