his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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