I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it hurts more in the daytime
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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