got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
