Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
