But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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