Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
