I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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