i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize