Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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