if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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