Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
