he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
did you just send me my own nude
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
