is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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