guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
