A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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