That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
