you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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