I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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