That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize