I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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