okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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