You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize