I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
too bad you live with your parents still
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
