I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize