if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
