And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
is that a dick in a sweater?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
