maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
