Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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