Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
