You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
soo... how was my night?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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