question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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