i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
