I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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