My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
