If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
