with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
