my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
