Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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