So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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