I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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