Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My feet surprised me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
