Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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