i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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