tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
