Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize