Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
