he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
